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Among the most important decisions parents make for their children is what schools they attend. In some areas, there are more options than in others, and choices may be based on what parents can afford. However, they may have a choice not just between public or private school, but also a religious-based school, a school for kids with special talents or abilities and a charter school. Some parents choose to homeschool their children.
Even happily married parents have differences of opinion on where their children go to school. When parents are separated or divorced, their child’s education can become a source of serious conflict. That’s often particularly true if their relationship has soured considerably.
Decisions around education fall under “legal” custody. Unlike physical custody, which involves how a child divides their time between parents, legal custody involves the authority to make important life decisions for a child, including education, religion and medical care. If co-parents are sharing physical and legal custody, which is often the case, they both have a say in where their child goes to school.
How can they reach a decision if they disagree?
Focus on the practical first
Assuming no one is relocating outside of the area, if a child is happy and thriving at their current school, it’s typically best to let them stay there. This will help minimize the disruption in their lives. Cost may also be an important consideration. If the parents can no longer afford a private school after divorce, it may be necessary to look at moving them to a public school at the start of the next school year.
Seek other opinions
If multiple options are affordable, but parents disagree, the child’s preference, depending on their age and maturity, can be an important factor. It can also help to get an informed third party’s opinion – for example from the child’s therapist if they have one. The opinion of a trusted teacher, coach or other mentor can help. It’s crucial to remember that the child’s best interests should be the determining factor in any decision.
It’s typically best if important decisions regarding a child’s life and future are made early in the divorce process so they can be incorporated into a family’s parenting plan. Having experienced legal guidance can help when there are critical differences of opinion to resolve.